


Uncomfortable

by afteriwake



Series: Simple As It Should Be [34]
Category: CSI: NY
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-18
Updated: 2012-09-18
Packaged: 2017-11-14 13:08:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/515552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The awkward silence was killing her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uncomfortable

She could tell when his mind was on something. There were a million different things that gave it away. Little things, like the way his eyes looked or the grim line his lips took or the way he had his head lowered slightly. She could read him like an open book.

And even though they were alone, she couldn't get him to open up.

She sighed and went back to reading her book. There wasn't much else she could do, really. He wanted to be alone and she wanted to relax after work. She wasn't in the mood to go into the room she'd fixed up as a study for herself because, frankly, she was comfortable right where she was. He wasn't budging, either, so they stayed a few feet apart from each other.

Might have been miles apart, that's how it felt to her.

Whatever it was that he was thinking about, it had his undivided attention, and that made her jealous. She wanted some of his attention tonight. It had been a long day, involving a case in which a kid was killed. Those were always the hardest for any cop. They'd both been on the same case, and yet when she asked if that's what was on his mind all she'd gotten was silence. After another minute she'd given up and retreated.

He was still sitting there at the table, sort of staring into space. The silence in the room was awkward almost, and she felt like she was intruding on something. This wasn't how it was supposed to be; they talked about so much, and now...this.

And she couldn't stand it.

She set her book down and went to their room. When she came back out, she had a sweater in her hands. "I'm going out," she said simply. There wasn't a reply. "If you need me, Kaile said she and Danny were going to Sullivan’s, and I was welcome to join them, so that's where I'll be."

"You don't have to go," he said quietly.

"Why? You aren't talking to me and I feel uncomfortable."

"You want to talk? Let's talk."

She flinched slightly at the tone in his voice, but she stood her ground. "Fine. What are you thinking about, Don? What's sent you into this...whatever state you're in." She set her sweater on the back of the couch. "I just want to know."

"I don't think we..." He paused for a moment.

"Don't tell me you think us living together isn't working out. It was your idea," she said quietly. Hell, if that was what was on his mind, she... She could feel tears begin to form.

He blinked, as though he could tell she was going to cry and that was enough to stop his mood. "No, Lindsay. No...that isn't it at all," he said, getting up and coming over to her. "I don't think anything is wrong with us."

"Than what is it we shouldn't be doing?" she asked. A tear slipped down her cheek and he reached up and brushed it away.

"I think we shouldn't talk about what I'm thinking right now," he said simply, "because right now I'm trying to sort things out. It's got nothing to do with you, or with us...it's got to do with me."

"Then...doesn't that mean it'll have something to do with me eventually?"

He smiled slightly, then took a deep breath. "I'm thinking about leaving the force, Lindsay. After the explosion and the last few cases and everything, I don't know if I want to be a cop anymore."

She wasn't completely shocked to hear him say that, but it still surprised her. "Was it this case that brought it about?"

He shook his head. "I'm a good cop, I know that, but I'm..."

She stepped forwards and wrapped her arms around him, and he closed his eyes and rested his chin on her head before holding her as well. "Whatever you decide, I'm there for you, okay?"

"I know," he said quietly. "I'm not making any decisions, not right now. Not till I figure out what I'd do if I wasn't a cop."

"And that's what you were thinking about?"

"Yeah." He could feel her hand rubbing up and down his back, and the gesture comforted him more than she probably realized. "I didn't mean to push you away, honest, I just wanted to sort things out before I brought it up."

She said nothing, just held him for a minute before she pulled away. She took his hand in hers and took a step towards the hallway to their bedroom, looking at him. "Come on, let's get some sleep."

"It's early," he pointed out, knowing in the end he'd go with her anyway.

"Yeah, I know." She tugged his hand lightly again and he let her pull him this time, giving her hand a quick squeeze before they left the uncomfortable silence behind them.


End file.
